i-35 haikus

(most of these ended up being about me peeing in a bottle on the road...
i'm sorry).

on the urge to relieve myself.
bumpy highway stretch
causes some pee to come out.
where is that bottle?
(a.t.)

on bad highway bathroom manners.
why am i gun-shy?
it's the trucker staring down
from his big rig.
(a.t.)

on waco, tx.
Jesus on Brazos
Waco needs a wakeup call
Jesus on Jose
(a.t.)

on west, tx.
yo, czech this out, son.
the town of West lies east of
i-thirty five, yo.
(a.t.)

on alternative road rage methods.
hey, you, S.U.V.
thanks for cutting me off, ass.
here comes my piss can.
(a.t.)

technology haikus.

on robots.
i tremble in fear
when metal footsteps draw near.
magnet gun, PROTECT!
(a.t.)

on mousepads.
not sure if this counts
as technology, but i
am opposed to mice.
(a.t.)

on software.
there is nothing plush
about metallic cds
rubbing against flesh.
(a.t.)

on "i".
iif i isee
inother item iwill
instantly ignite.
(a.t.)

on cell-phones.
zack morris died from
lugging around a cell-boat
thanks, technology.
(a.t.)

food haikus.

on hotdogs.
oh, mystery meat
meet my stomach with fury
furry creature taste.
(a.t.)

on pumpkins.
jack-o-lantern meat
"i wish someone would cut me."
you are so emo.
(a.t.)

on nanners.
i mean bananas
b-a-n-a-n-a-s.
this shit is nanners.
(a.t.)

on cucumbers.
don't lie to yourself.
grocery store fantasy
golden girl love gourd.
(a.t.)